so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
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You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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