whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize