He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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