pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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