it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
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I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
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Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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