That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
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Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
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He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
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