Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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