definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize