u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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