try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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