You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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