i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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