i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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