I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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