I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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