well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
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And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
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After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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