Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
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Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
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The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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