Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize