i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
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And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
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I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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