Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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