Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize