I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize