I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
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Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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