I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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