I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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