margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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