i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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