mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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