Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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