did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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