I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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