I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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