guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
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With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
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Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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