perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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