I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just invented taco cereal.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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