so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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