I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize