apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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