I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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