All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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