is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize