Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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