No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
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I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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