I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize