Small penises have feelings too.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize