So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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