Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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