Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize