I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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