Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
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I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
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Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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